My smile hasn't reached my eyes today -
too much weighing on my thoughts.
My tears haven't touched the ground today -
I don't have the strength to cry.
I stare at the world through empty eyes -
forcing tone into my speech
but always averting my eyes.
If they look for just one second -
I know they would see
and recognize the mask I'm hiding behind.
I can fake everything else,
but my eyes reveal the strain
from holding back all these fears
and all this pain.
If I lost control today I think
it would tear me apart,
and I don't have the energy to pick up the pieces -
at least not right now.